A ranking of toxic 'J' names because we've all had our hearts broken by one
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What's Good

A ranking of toxic 'J' names because we've all had our hearts broken by one

Sorry not sorry...

Regardless of gender, we can all agree that someone with a J name has left a scar on our little hearts. Whether it’s a toxic player who was a complete womaniser, to the weirdo who stalked my friend home in primary school, no J name will be spared here.

So here is my definitive list of the MOST toxic J names and why they’re in my bad books. Let's start with the least toxic J name...

Jack - Jack is pretty tame when it comes to breaking girls' hearts. He’s a pretty boy who’s just not in the phase of life to settle down yet (even if he’s 33). Jack’s the guy who’s always single but somehow always has a new girl at pre’s every weekend.

Jayden - Jayden treats all his friends fairly and with respect - which will throw you off. Is he interested in me? Nope, he just loves his girlfriend and sees you as an equal. Jayden doesn’t deserve to be grouped in with other J names. Keep killing it king!

James - James is hot but just isn’t looking for anything right now. He’s still obsessing over his high school girlfriend. Babe, it’s not your fault.

Jessie - You wish you were Jessie's girl… JOKES! Jessie is hot and mysterious but will never tell you how he feels. His friends might tease you and get in your head but GIRL RUN! We aren’t in primary school anymore so Jessie needs to grow some balls and get the girls himself.

Jacob - Jacob’s always in a relationship but you have to watch out when he’s single. He’s so used to having another half in his life that he’ll squeeze you into that box way too quickly. When you guys inevitably break up he’ll be with the next girl for three years. Don’t worry though, Jacob won’t mention you to anyone after you’re done.

Jono - Jono’s never going to text you back. You’re the last thing on his mind because he’s too busy playing on his Playstation. Don’t get me wrong, Jono’s a great guy to have around but you shouldn’t get too hung up on him. The man doesn’t even know how to do his own laundry!

Joel - Joel is the kinda guy who pretends to be a feminist just to sleep with you. He knows just enough about the topic to get you into bed but not enough to treat women with respect. Joel’s the first guy to complain about women not sleeping with him on the first date.

Josh - Don’t even get me started. The worst thing about Josh is that HE KNOWS how toxic he is but he’s got no motivation to change. He’s desperate for a relationship but is too afraid to let his guard down. Josh, it’s time to go to therapy! 

Joseph - If you’re related to me or know me personally PLEASE skip this one. I personally hate all Joseph's because I once gave one a cheeky gobby at a party and he ended up leaving with another girl. F*** you Joseph.

JoshUA - Joshua acts like he isn’t a josh but he is. The ‘ua’ might fool you but it’s actually an indication that he’s more toxic. Joshua is a master at making girls feel like he really cares about them without moving a finger. Joshua is an evil genius and I’ll never fall for their tricks.