Periods. We all get them, but almost nobody talks about them. I’ve never fully understood why the subject is so taboo.
Back in year ten, I used to stick pads with red food colouring around Rangitoto College because I thought my peers needed to get over their fear of the crimson tide.
As an adult it makes me cringe but I’d be lying if I didn’t find it funny!
Whenever I’m in a public bathroom and get asked for a period product, I’m always curious as to why that person prefers one product over another. Do people in the supermarket assume something about me when they see that I love using night time pads during the day?
Do I really know my friends and family if I don’t know what period product to hand them in an emergency?
Here’s what I think your choice of period product says about you!
DISCLAIMER: I’d like to acknowledge that periods don’t have a gender attached to them. Menstruation has no pronouns so even though I'll be using 'they' and 'she' here, this article is for EVERYONE.
Tampons
I imagine every CEO wears a tampon. They’re quick, efficient and people who wear them aren’t afraid of a challenge. They're dedicated to their craft and there is no way in hell they're going to risk a flimsy pad from ruining their day. Tampon users are the epitome of a boss and aren’t afraid to control any situation. In a club, she’s the girl in the bathroom with the extra safety pin who helps you clean yourself up while simultaneously convincing you to break up with your boyfriend. We STAN tampon girls, just make sure you don’t cross her or else you’ll be stuck layering toilet paper at work for the rest of your days.
Pads
Hate to say it but us pads users aren’t afraid to be a bit messy. We secretly wish that we could be as brave as the tampon girls but accept that we have a lot more fun. Pad users are self-aware enough to wear dark clothing because we know we’ll stain our tops while eating even if we try hard not to. White pants? As IF we’d risk something like that. She’s kind, she’s sweet but you absolutely can’t rely on her to show up on time. Pad users are the ragers who party until three in the morning but will still show face at work the next day.
Menstrual Cups
Menstrual cups have a reputation for being eco-friendly, but I don’t believe that’s the only reason why these girls go recyclable. These girls are FRUGAL! They are dedicated and even if they have a slight fear of the cup, they’ll persist anyway. Let’s be clear, these girls are absolute angels, but they don’t mind breaking a few rules. Menstrual cup girls are activists who aren’t afraid to steal a block of cheese because they think supermarkets are the real criminals here! There is no solution to periods other than a menstrual cup for them, because all the money saved is going to their third europe trip this year. Menstrual cups girls know they’re better than us, but are humble enough to never rub it in our face.
Period Underwear
These girls are the chilliest people known to earth. They could talk about the most traumatic thing you’ve ever heard and you know it wouldn’t even phase them. She works out, not because she’s a fitness freak but because she knows it’s good for her brain. In group settings she is the person everyone tells all the gossip to but she’s not phased by it. Girls who wear period underwear just want a simple life and refuse to let their periods get in the way. She makes sure to avoid making any plans on her period because she wants to protect her peace. Does she cry? We’ll never know, because that’s between her and her Netflix subscription.
Reusable pads
You are a true eco warrior, even more so than the menstrual cup gals. Your Pinterest board consists of small cottages with gardens galore. You don’t need to rely on a corporation to help you with your period, you create life itself! Reusable pad people are sick of how we all treat the planet and live a fully sustainable life. They know the world is ending soon, but are doing everything they can to delay it. Reusable pad girls, you deserve all the respect in the world.
At the end of the day, there are plenty of ways to bleed and there is no way that is more superior than the other. If you are keen to learn more about ways to manage your period you can check out our ultimate period product guide here!
