We’re abso losing it over the most cursed FB Marketplace listings in NZ rn and you should too
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We’re abso losing it over the most cursed FB Marketplace listings in NZ rn and you should too

I'll take the cat and then gtfo ASAP.

Despite Facebook being mid now, it's still home to a bustling online garage sale where there are things on offer a child would struggle to imagine. 

Things like a moped with a toilet seat, a broken window, and little penis candles, to name a mild few, are up for grabs on New Zealand's Facebook Marketplace. Why do these things even exist?

These listings range from "Oh, that’s a weird thing to sell" to "I wish I didn’t have eyes now" to "Please inform me of the thought process that led to this becoming a real-life thing I share the world with". 



If you want to propose to your McChicken-loving partner, boy, do I have the Mclisting for you!

Cat Stone

My favourite listing here is a cat in stone form. It’s a high-quality painting and lowkey a bargain at $15. Look at it’s little face. 

A literal pizza

Dominos, Sals, and Hells can get lost. Facebook Marketplace is the new home of the ‘za. 

Tinky-Winky Boots

Noo-noo? More like yess-yess!

Up The Wahcade

The perfect arcade machine for any Wahs fans. 

Broken Window

Yup, that window sure is broken. 

A slice of couch

This was listed as its own thing, with no other couch included. Note the two cup holders right where your thighs would sit. If you want a drink while you’re sitting on this thing, your knees will be pointing to different corners of the room. That makes me laugh. 

Toilet Moped

Why keep the waste hole?

Cody’s Couch

Not a couch belonging to some guy named Cody, but rather a larger replica of Cody's RTD can. It might be the one couch Castle Street breathers would not take a lighter to. 

Penis candles

Just the shape, not the smell (I hope).

Bus Seats

Sorry old people and pregnant ladies, there are no seats on the bus cause the flatties needed a spot to park up. 

WW2 Gas Mask

No thanks. 

Dragon Bus

Pull up to the function in the dragon-ussy. 

It’s not a vase, it’s a “talking point"

It’s literally listed as a “talking point”. I appreciate the ambition and belief that such a creation would lead to a conversation. 

Found any crazy stuff on your FB Marketplace? Send it through to us!