Welcome to Earth Aliens, we've been waiting for you!
I'd probably be a little nervous about being on a new planet. There are lots of different rules, customs and languages everywhere you land! I can only imagine how daunting that would be for alien astronauts.
A great place to start your takeover would be little ol New Zealand. We're pretty small compared to other places and surrounded by water so our allies probably won't save us. The people have a wicked sense of humour and are easy to get along with.
If you want to take us over, Kiwis won't stop you but you might want to study how to communicate with us. An alien invasion sounds pretty time-consuming so I've searched the internet for New Zealand's most iconic ads. After watching these you'll know exactly how to chat to us!
Lift Plus: Sharpen Up!
If you want to invade New Zealand it really probably won’t be too much of a struggle for you. Kiwis aren't the smartest bunch but we are pretty good at pulling off a joke. If you’re thinking of taking over West Auckland or Dunedin, expect the lounges to look a little something like this.
Cadbury: Eyebrow Dance
I want you to know that all Kiwi kids are as weird as these two. I don’t know why Cadbury thought that this would sell their chocolate but it did! If you aren't able to speak, grab a Sharpie and speak with your eyebrows.
ACC: Fruit-E Bars
New Zealanders have a creative but dark way of putting a point across. We’re also easily defeated by glass coffee tables. Lay those all over the place and you'll have us trapped in no time! If this one got on your nerves just wait until you see the ladder…
Drug Driving Aotearoa: Blazed
If Kiwis aren’t afraid to use kids in serious drug-driving advertisements, we won’t be afraid to use them in anti-alien invasion campaigns. This ad showcases how observant our kids are but for a pretty dark subject… As I said earlier, I wouldn't recommend taking our kids with you.
State Insurance: Break My Stride
Expect to have a bit of a fight with us before you take over. Kiwis are a resilient bunch that is used to facing challenges. Just like State Insurance suggests, there isn't much out there that will break our stride. Not even an alien invasion!
Libra: Alien Parody
This advertisement isn't the most iconic to New Zealanders but I want to give you props. I had no idea that you contacted us in 1989 to share your love of tampons! Unfortunately, your ad for tampons was quickly taken over by our love of pads…
Libra: Invisible Pads
Congratulations, you have completed your easy Kiwi training. Now that you’ve watched our iconic Kiwi ads you should be able to understand us pretty easily. Do me a favour though, if you’re going to abduct anyone please take whoever pitched those ACC ads!
