A Lecture From Ya Mum About Digital Dating - Aunty Shaz Dog’s Love Shack

Advice 18/10/2021

Trigger Warning - sexual assault

Ok, I swear if you call me MOMMMM or call me old after you read this, I’m gonna ground you.

I’m a boring-ass married woman now - but I’m still cool, okay? But there’s something that fuckkkkkkking terrifies me and that’s digital dating. 

I think this concern really ramped up after watching what happened to Grace Millane after meeting a Tinder date, and then hearing experiences my friends have had after meeting people on these sorts of apps.

For example - I’ve had a friend who pashed a boy after a date who, without asking, thought he’d try strangling her, thinking she’d find it hot. He stopped when she asked him to, but who the hell does that without asking first? 

Another friend was raped by her Tinder date and by pure luck managed to get away from him to safety. 

It sounds boring, it sounds like those things that only happen to other people - but they’re happening and we need to keep ourselves safe. Here’s some ways we can do this:

  1. Always screenshot who you’re going on a date with, and send it to a friend so people know who you’re with and where you’re going. You don’t know them even if you’ve been texting for a bit
  2. Meet in a public place. If you end up hooking up? There's no judgement here - but make sure someone knows where you’re going and make your boundaries clear. If you change your mind when you get there, THAT IS OKAY. Just because you go back to their place, or even if you’re making out and you want to stop - THAT IS OKAY. Sex is NOT guranteed just because you go home with someone.

    If at any point you feel unsafe, tell someone at the bar, restaurant or venue where ever you are. Text a friend and the get the hell out of there, or have a code word you can fire off and know your friend will come to your rescue.
  3. USE. A. CONDOM. You’re on the pill? You’ve got the IUD? That’s all good, but it doesn’t stop you from getting herpes or any other STI. Condoms can be awkward or annoying, but there’s things you can do to make them better (like putting some lube on the penis before putting the condom on). Ya know what’s more awkward than wearing a condom? Ringing people to tell them they need to get checked cause you caught something off a Tinder date. AWKWARD. 

Right, Ya Aunty is getting preachy now. Go out there, have fun - but bloody stay safe please. 

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