Dan from Edge Breakfast is living out every teenager’s worst nightmare - having their diary read out to hundreds of thousands of people.
Meg read it out on air this morning and we’d like to apologise to everyone listening for the copious amounts of snorting and wheezing we made while laughing at his teenage tribulations.
The first entry we read brings us to a whimsical time in a teenager's life, the school holidays.
“I have so much planned for the next two weeks,” it starts. “Not sure how I’m gonna cram it all in, all my plans. Stayed at home today,” I totally get that teenage Dan.
What I don’t totally get though, is the diet he was running: “Lunch: Weetbix. Dinner: Mac and Cheese.”
We also read out Dan’s entry about his little brother chasing him with a knife and that was just *chef’s kiss*.
That’s not all though, we managed to grab some pics of some of the pages and sorry teenage Dan but OMG this is awesome content.
From a young age, he’s loved music, evidenced by this haiku he wrote:
“I feel the music. It can make you feel alive. The tune of my life.” tell me that won’t be the hook in the next Summer DnB banger.
Music = yes, sports = BIG NO. Such a no in fact that Dan committed a whole page to it, writing “SPORT SUCKS” and making an acrostic poem out of it.
‘S’ is for “so boring, ‘P’ is for “pathetic”, and ‘O’ is for “odd it’s so popular”.
He even thought of a title for a story about his vitriol for sports *drumroll* … ‘The Man Who Hated Sport’. Watch out, Shakespeare.
Story ideas were running through teenage Dan’s mind, here are some more he jotted down in his diary: A male mermaid named Fishman who can’t walk on land “(weakness?)”.
An exploration into what the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are doing in their middle age, asking the big questions like: “have they retired?”, and “did they defeat all evil”.
Finally, I’ll leave you with this really creepy and icky drawing of two fingers with a poem written in them.
“My two fingers can achieve so much, all it takes is touch”. Yucky.
