OMFG, we live in a world where this is an actual headline on news websites...
New Zealand's most well-endowed regions have been revealed.
Last Thursday, Durex announced its Confidence 56mm condoms were set to be restocked this week after a months-long shortage.
In a note sent to medical practitioners in March, government agency Pharmac stated "ongoing stock issues" with the large condoms.
Pharmacies were even forced to ration supplies in some regions, leading Newshub to ask the question: which regions have the most demand for the 56mm condoms?
In data provided by Pharmac, Newshub found Wairarapa dispensed the most 56mm condoms in 2017, with 1.24 56mm condoms prescribed for every person in the region.
The dispensary data was categorised by district health board (DHB) region - and by dividing those numbers by the population for that DHB region, Newshub came up with the stats.
Right behind the Wairarapa came the Southern region, with 1.1 condoms prescribed per person.
That was followed by the Waikato, and then Canterbury, Taranaki, and Counties Manukau.
Auckland came 7th on the list, with Wellington and the rest of the Capital and Coast region next.
The regions with the least 56mm condom prescriptions were Tairawhiti and Hawke's Bay.
The 56mm measurement refers to the width of the base when the condom is laid flat. Durex Classic condoms are 52mm wide.
A Durex spokesperson said demand for Durex Confidence condoms has increased in the past few months, both in New Zealand and overseas - though no other country has been affected by a shortage.
According to Pharmac's data, more than 4 million condoms were dispensed around the country in 2017.
Full list of condoms dispensed by region:
1. Wairarapa: 1.24 condoms per person
2. Southern: 1.1 condoms per person
3. Waikato: 1 condom per person
4. Canterbury: 0.97 condoms per person
5= Taranaki: 0.96 condoms per person
5= Counties Manukau: 0.96 condoms per person
6. Waitemata: 0.94 condoms per person
7. Auckland: 0.93 condoms per person
8. Capital and Coast: 0.9 condoms per person
9. Bay of Plenty: 0.78 condoms per person
10. Midcentral: 0.76 condoms per person
11. South Canterbury: 0.74 condoms per person
12. Hutt Valley: 0.73 condoms per person
13. West Coast: 0.67 condoms per person
14. Whanganui: 0.63 condoms per person
15. Nelson Marlborough: 0.6 condoms per person
16= Lakes: 0.55 condoms per person
16= Northland: 0.55 condoms per person
17. Hawke's Bay: 0.41 condoms per person
18. Tairawhiti: 0.26 condoms per person