Sex Ed: How Damaging Is Anal Bleaching, When To Reach For Lube, & Crying After Sex

sex 18/10/2021

CONTENT WARNING: 

Here’s your official warning, team - if you scroll down you’ll see NSFW content. So if you’re at work or school, proceed with caution. 

Friend of The Edge, and somatic sexologist, Morgan Penn is most well known for co-hosting The Trainee Sexologist podcast. But as The Edge Confidential’s resident sexpert, she’s also here to answer your *ahem* burning* questions about sex, relationships and your body.

*Seriously though, if something is burning, please see your GP.

I’m trying to get my boyfriend to be more adventurous in the bedroom, is there a book you can recommend? I think he needs some tips.

This is hard because we’re thinking about other people. The best tip that this guy is going to get is from you, and if he’s not listening to you he’s not going to go and read a book about tips either. So this is a tricky one - but really, you’re going to have to have that conversation with him and let him know what it means to you. I do recommend a podcast though which is really good for men; it is called Men, Sex and Pleasure from Cam Fraser who is a somatic sexologist based in Australia.

Can anal bleaching damage my skin?

This all stems from adult entertainment videos and it has come from a place where a normal bumhole is deemed “unattractive” because it’s darker on the inside. About ten years ago this became quite big and people would go to beauticians because there is a bleach which is safe for use on the skin - but the danger here is that people have gone out and tried to bleach their own buttholes and you can chemically burn your skin and do some MEGA damage… so maybe question yourself – why, why do you feel like you need to do this to your poor anus?

I’m a female and I always get super emotional after me and my boyfriend make love. Sometimes it’s super embarrassing – how can I make this stop?

When we go into this sexual realm and become so intimate and open with somebody, its pretty vulnerable - so if you’re being really authentic in that union there is a chance that emotions will flow and a lot of healing can happen through sex. However, what I am wondering is if this person is potentially suppressing a lot of emotions during their daily life, so that when they come to this place where they are cracked open - because you can’t hide when you’re that close with somebody – that’s when the emotions are coming out.

Why is it so hard for me to get lubricated with foreplay? We always have lube to save the day, but is there a way to make it more natural?

All hail lube I say! Let’s not be hating on that or acting like lube is a bad second option. While we’re on the topic of lube, I’m going to recommend Bonk Lube, which is New Zealand made and really organic – I recommend it to all my clients. Just go for the lube, don’t even worry about it.


We cover the stigma of using lube a lot in the Trainee Sexologist podcast, specifically Episode 5 I believe.

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