If I could give you an insight into my DMs you would see that 90% of them are from other plus size women asking me about how to find love, or how to love themselves, or how to make love - confidently. A lot of the time I don’t know what to say back, because as much as I wish I had the secret formula for figuring it all out, I don’t. The only advice I can give is what I tell myself when I’m having a bad mental health day myself - so to try and break it down for you if you are also looking for some answers:
- Everyone is looking for love (okay, slight exaggeration - but you know what I mean) regardless of their body size. Know that you aren’t out on an island alone if you want a loyal and devoted partner. The best advice I can give you is to know your worth and to remind yourself that millions of plus size people have found true, great love exactly as they are. Follow people online who reflect you and what you want from life, in case you ever start to doubt that you will find your person. Have faith in knowing that they are out there and exist, but your paths may have not crossed yet. None of us have met all the people we will love in our lifetime yet - and that’s a really wonderful feeling if you think about it.
- Whenever I dislike myself and what I see in the mirror, it can be a really hard rut and headspace to get out of. Take a moment and do two things (this first one is pretty somber, but works for me). 1- I think about the people that I have loved and lost in my life and the funerals I have been to (yikes, deep I know - but stick with me here). I have never been to one, where grieving family and friends have stood up to talk about the person’s fantastic looks and hot body. It is always about how that person made them feel, how they made people laugh, how they were to be around. Happy memories and stories of times spent with them. We are so much more than our bodies - yet we put so much worth purely on our looks according to society's standards. Give yourself a break, look at yourself how your friends and those who love you see you, and your mindset might start changing. 2- cull who you follow on social media. Follow a variety of people, inclusive accounts, people who look the same as you as well as people who look totally different. Social media can actually be a fantastic tool for self confidence - but you have to follow those who make you feel great and lift you up, not ones that make you feel less than.
- Sex. Look, if you have gotten to a place where you are naked in bed with someone you like, who likes you back - just trust me in knowing that they think your body is hot. Clothes don’t hide your size, they know what you look like and are just super blessed to be in such close vicinity to the naked goddess that you are. Get out of your head and have FUN.
That’s all I have got for you for now!