We don't think anyone in their right mind would ever want to join this flat after reading these demanding AF rules...
Posting on Twitter, user @rxdazn shared screenshots of what their friend recieved after applying to go look at a potential flat in the UK.
The list (which was probably longer than anything we ever wrote in an NCEA exam tbh) was filled with an extremely detailed list of rules they would have to live by if they moved in.
If you're a social person or specifically like to laugh at night, this 'definitely isn't a place for you' the flattie wrote.
The full message, which includes not being allowed in the house between 9am-5pm or cooking proper meals, is an essay but here were the best parts from it:
‘I need you to be out of the flat on week days during normal working hours (9-5) because I work from home 5 days a week and I need the place to myself. If you have a proper job, this shouldn’t be a problem. Students who go to university on random days for a few hours or stay at home all day long and chill out unfortunately can’t live here.
‘I’m not fussy about the weekends, I just want to know you have somewhere to be Mon to Fri from the morning till late afternoon.’
On noise levels:
‘My new flatmate has to be a quiet and considerate person. Which means you should use door handles rather than push the doors to slam, and try to behave quietly, especially when it’s late or early in the morning, so as not to disturb others.
‘I’m not looking for a ‘bull in a china shop’ kind of flatmate, I don’t want you to be always running around, throwing things around. And I expect your guests to act respectably when here. Both me and the other flatmate are quiet and rather gentle people.’
On phone calls:
‘I used to have this flatmate who was on Skype for 2-3 hours every day (5 hours on weekends). I won’t have that. This is a quiet building in general, and I usually read or watch something in the evenings, and the other flatmate has to study. So I don’t want to hear noise coming from your room all the time.
‘It doesn’t matter if you talk on Skype/phone ‘quietly’ (or so you think). I won’t tell you for how long you’re allowed to talk a day, it’s nonsense, if you need to call someone just do it. But you should know if you use the phone a lot every day or you don’t. People who don’t don’t cause me problems.
‘As soon as someone start interpreting my words to suit themselves, the problems begin.’
‘If you’re laughing at loud after 11pm or sleep with the radio on – still the same thing. Basically, I’d like you to use common sense. You’re living with other people, who want to be able to rest and to sleep, and do whatever else they need to do after a long, noisy day.’
On socialising with other flatmates:
‘This isn’t a very sociable house. We don’t do parties and we don’t have time to cook together or watch TV together, mainly because people always have different schedules and they’re busy.
‘But I expect my flatmates to be friendly towards each other, which means that sneaking around behind each other’s backs is NOT fine. ‘This is a home, not a hotel, there are no strangers here.’
On how you spend your time:
‘If you spend all your free time hanging around the house, streaming TV show and talking on the phone for hours, we’re not gonna like each other.
‘When I’m not working in my part-time job, my life revolves around my laptop when I work at home because I’m a very busy person. But I don’t want my new flatmate to assume that just because I spend so much time here, it’s OK for them to do the same.’
On bowel movements:
‘If you have to run to the toilet 15 times a day or every 15 minutes, don’t move in here. If you say you don’t spend much time in the bathroom because you don’t take long showers but then you sit on the toilet several times a day (like the flatmate who’s moving out), and only your morning bathroom runs take almost one hour in total, this definitely isn’t a place for you.
‘If all you eat is canned beans and cooked lentils and drink beer, you’re not my kind of flatmate. I need someone a little more sophisticated here.’
‘There’s no cooking in this flat before 8.30am and after 11pm. Occasionally I will allow it, and you can also make some porridge or use the microwave. But anything that requires pots and pans and a lot of washing-up afterwards is not allowed, and if it smells so much that it wakes everybody else up – it’s also not OK.
‘I don’t like people spending a lot of time cooking in general. If you ONLY eat cooked/fried meals because you don’t know how to make a sandwich, and you hang around the kitchen for hours a day (and I do mean HOURS) or spend every weekend preparing elaborate meals and baking, etc, this isn’t a place for you.’
‘I don’t want to point out that the toilet needs to be flushed every time, the bathtub needs to be rinsed of hair, and the dirty dishes need to be washed sooner rather than later. I won’t tolerate dishes lying in the sink for 2 days.’
‘I don’t want to constantly see your friends hanging around the flat. If you have guests 3 times a week, it’s too much.
‘Sometimes you may have a guest coming over for the weekend or a few days – that’s fine as long as it’s not every month, although it also depends on what kind of flatmate you are and who your friends are. But there are gazillions of places in London where you can socialize, and the flat is for the flatmates.
‘Boyfriends and girlfriends are OK as long as they’re not sleeping here 3-4 times a week because that means that half the time we’d have a fourth person living with us, and in that case they should be paying the rent like everyone else. If you must see your partner that often, you should live with them, not with us.’
‘As for alcohol, drugs, and other such things, I don’t really want to see people here ‘under the influence’. Beer, wine etc in reasonable amounts are obviously fine, we’re all adults here, but apart from that I don’t want any crazy stuff here.’
On your new housemate:
‘I’m quite easy-going.’