This Ebay listing is literally the BEST thing you'll read all day

trending 09/06/2017

Grab some popcorn and sit down, this is worth the read.

A lady has just listed an engagement ring on eBay UK, featuring 1.35ct white gold selling for 4,500 pounds (approx $7961 NZD), but this listing comes with a bit of a twist.

It turns out that the women selling the ring recently found out her ex-fiance's big secret - being that he's actually gay and not that into women.

Now there's nothing wrong with that, but there's no point in keeping the ring so the only thing to do was to sell it, and have a few digs at her ex and his best mate "Brad".

Now dont get us wrong, it looks long AF but you have to read this hilarious story!

 

"So, you know when you're engaged to be married and then suddenly your fiance starts spending a little too much time with his friend, Brad? And you're like, 'Hey, it's okay, Brad's a great guy. He's pretty buff and he's a laugh and his fashion sense is amazing.'

So then your fiance starts not coming home at night because he and Brad had a 'wild one' and he comes back walking a little bit like John Wayne at 4pm the next day and you think 'Wow! It must have been a wild one since he can't walk straight anymore. They must have had a lot of good, clean fun together.

And you buy a house and a dog together because that's what adults do and you skint yourself into ruin but that's what you do when you're in love, right? But then, whilst unpacking, you find a pair of bright pink stilettos in a size 11 and a long blonde wig and a dress in size Large and a pair of white stockings, all of which definitely are not yours but have been worn and you think, 'Okay, well it could be for Halloween', but it's March? And then your fiance stops wanting to have sex with you despite the fact you have a great rack and an ass that Kim K would insure for £8million by mistaking it for her own and you're wondering what is wrong with you and why has he shaved his balls tonight if not to spend the night with you?

In answer to all these questions, here I am.

Single, living with my ex fiance because we're both too skint to move out with a rock the size of Gibraltar on my finger wondering, 'How many other men have I turned?' whilst sharing a tub of ice cream with my dog and screaming 'WHY' at the ceiling.

 It just reminds me of my failure to grow a penis so I'd like to sell it so I can start my life again. I still have the receipt and the box, as if subconsciously I knew I'd be in my pajamas alone in the middle of the afternoon on a Friday writing this tale on eBay.

J for JOKES I ALMOST MARRIED SOMEONE WHO BLATANTLY LOVES THE D, AND THAT'S OKAY IF THAT'S WHAT HE WANTS TO DO, TO EACH HIS OWN, BUT IT'S NOT WHAT I'M ABOUT AS I'M ONLY 27 AND I'D LOVE TO HAVE SEX AGAIN AT SOME POINT."